Who’s My Daddy?
From 1965-1967, my mother spent time in Oklahoma City and Missouri, attending colleges, and I was informed that she returned to California in 1967, but no one seems to have a clue what she was doing in between the time she returned to California in '67 until I was born in '69. I don't know if there was something that drew her to San Francisco - then again, it was the 60's and Frisco was quite the happening place for young people.
Since most of our ancestors settled in Oklahoma, both my mother and her brother, only a year apart, were born in Tulsa, then moved to Blythe, California when they were toddlers. I've been told that Blythe is a small town in Southern California. After high school, my uncle went off to college at UCSB, where he met his wife. So in 1965, while the United States joined the Vietnam War, my aunt and uncle got married. So between 1965 and 1969, my uncle had been busy with a new wife, being in the military and being stationed in various countries, and in 1967, their first son, my first cousin, was born. So, he was clearly busy being a husband, father, working man and military man. He was not as focused on what was going on with his sister. He and my aunt did, however, tell me that they went to San Francisco to pick up my mother after I was born. She did not want to discuss the pregnancy, the baby, or anything related to it. Chapter closed, and everyone resumes life as usual, while I was on the adoption train.
My sister is just as curious as me about who he was, and why no one seems to know who he is or was. Since we don't have a name for him yet, or anything really, I've just been calling him "some asian dude" for lack of a better name. While my mother and her then-husband (the father of my sisters) eventually divorced after 11 years of marriage, my sister has a rather solid relationship with him. And although he has absolutely nothing to do with me, he has been extremely supportive of helping his daughter and her new sister unravel this mystery. He knows where our mother worked. He met her after returning to SF after being in Vietnam. She worked in a dining establishment of some sort as a waitress. They met, and got married in October of 1970. Their first child, my younger sister, Heather, who I did not have the privilege of meeting, was born in 1972. My sister, Laura, was born in 1975.
So that's all there is. According to my adoption papers, my father was a Korean man she was in a relationship with for a few years. He had two children from a previous marriage. At the time she decided to put me up for adoption, they had already broken up and she "couldn't locate him" to let him know about the pregnancy, but does not speculate just how strong her efforts might have been. And that's all I know. I knew a lot more about her before I took my first DNA test, just from the adoption papers. I have not had any successful DNA matches of any Asian persuasion. The only ones that exist are fifth or sixth cousin matches, and without a name or anything, it's a needle in a haystack. Add to that, he probably doesn't even know. My father is just some asian dude.
We aren't giving up though. The odds are pretty high that my mother probably wasn't abducted by aliens and then returned pregnant, like Scully in the X-Files. Although that would be cool, I don't really think I'd like my father to be some weird Asian-Alien hybrid, so, let's just assume that he's just a normal guy. We have reached out to people she knew back in Blythe, to see if she remained in contact with anyone - a good gal pal or a best friend, someone she might have told her dirty little secrets to.
So, we are still searching. Someone knows something. You don't get pregnant and give your baby up for adoption and not tell anyone. OK, she didn't tell his identity to her brother or his wife. And all the times she mentioned me to Laura, she didn't spill the beans then either. But, who did she tell? And when? I don't believe she didn't tell anyone who he was.
Come on, Mom, who was this secret boyfriend? Who's my Daddy?
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